How I joined a Church .... and then quit.

Life is a journey....a path that wanders about and doesn't always end up where you though it would.  Decisions made happily one day are regrets the next...ok maybe this is just me and my "try anything once" way of living...that's kind of how I ended up with pate on my sandwich today...

I have left the church I just joined and moved my donation to Joyce Meyer Ministries because she feeds 72,000 hungry people world wide per day .... I got a ultra super soft spot for starving children.  I will not say anything bad about my former church because their super sized theatrics bring unchurched people in the doors and they often get saved - and that's the point of the Good News.  Jesus also said take care of the poor and the needy.

Matthew 25:35-40

New Living Translation (NLT)

 For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home.  I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’

 “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink?  Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing?  When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’

 “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters,[a] you were doing it to me!’

and

John 13:34-35

New Living Translation (NLT)

 So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.  Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.

Proverbs also addresses this issue:

Proverbs 21:13

New Living Translation (NLT)

Those who shut their ears to the cries of the poor will be ignored in their own time of need.

Proverbs 19:17

New Living Translation (NLT)

If you help the poor, you are lending to the Lord-  and he will repay you!

Proverbs 22:9 (ESV)

Whoever has a bountiful eye will be blessed, 

for he shares his bread with the poor.

Proverbs 31:8–9 (ESV)

Open your mouth for the mute, 

for the rights of all who are destitute. 

 Open your mouth, judge righteously, 

defend the rights of the poor and needy

I enjoyed my new church....I loved the lights and the theatrical display. It was attention grabbing and fun and full of energy.

But...

Every time I looked at the flashing lights, the stage productions, the giant buildings...

For me...

I just saw $ that could be used to feed the poor...the starving and dying children and their families worldwide.

*I get that all those lights, all that worship music, all the stage productions....I get that it draws the crowds and the crowds get saved and that's the whole point and that if they stopped all of sudden that would be could be lost and some may not get saved....I'm not saying I have any answers.*

I am just letting you in on what my heart said.

The more I thought .... the more I cringed .... and then cringed ... and then cringed some more.  Could I really financially support a church ... one that needed a tremendous amount of financial support to just keep the lights on...?  Could I bury the tension in my heart?  Could I just close my eyes and enjoy the worship experience?

I could not.  I tried.  I really tried.

I took care of all the "financial" switching while on a break at work and told Husband about it when I got home.  

And that tiny part of my heart sighed...

Joyce is a great teacher and her Ministry is transparent.

Every year we get a annual report from Joyce Meyer Ministries listing exactly where the money went for the year.  The one I just linked to is from 2012...posted on her website...easy to find.  That's nice.

So that's where my heart is. 

My life is a journey of discovery.  I try new things and contemplate new ideas all the time.  Jesus is so good to me and I am so undeserving.  

In a couple of week a friend and I are going to "try out" some churches in the area ... to see what else is out there.  Hey, it's Texas - there's a church on every corner :)

K

What's Been Happening and What I Have Been Thinking About

What's Been Happening:

• I joined a church.  For the first time in my life.  

Fellowship Church ... my church .... my home away from home ..... that place where I am starting to recognize people and they know my name.

It's an awesome Church and about as far from traditional as you can get and I love that you can be yourself there.  

What I Have Been Thinking About:

• How to slow down this Holiday season and allow it to unfold without rushing about like a crazy person
• Why I feel the desperate need to be going 1000 miles an hour at work .... and somehow if I am not I haven't done a good enough job
• How I wish I had started saving for Christmas last Dec 26th
• How God is so awesome and His grace is enough for today
• How I don't always have to have everything my way
• How do I balance my empathy for others and still have fun in my life when their are starving children out there

Have a great Saturday!!

K

Why I am not a Vegan Anymore

After 5 weeks of the Vegan lifestyle ... I am no longer a Vegan.

Why?  After all I have read about the health benefits!  After all I have read about what is in our food! After all I have read about the treatment of animals and the treatment of workers in the slaughterhouses!

I know!  [insert forehead slap here]

There are two reasons why I have gone back the basic American diet:

• Husband and I have very few hobbies that we enjoy together.  I love Star Wars - he doesn't understand why "vehicles fly in space and guys swirl around laser swords".  
• One thing we have always enjoyed together is food, eating out, cooking a great meal at home - part of our relationship - a very strong part of our bond revolves around food - the breaking of bread at our table.  By being a Vegan - I took myself out of that part of our life we enjoy. 
•  He was very supportive of my choices and in no way influenced my current decision.  Basically, I missed that part of us.  Our restaurant choices were limited ... I got tired of ending up at a salad joint and felt guilty for "making him eat rabbit food once again".  He does enjoy veggies but not as his only food.  
• I wanted our food life to be simple and to be a couple making those food decisions.

• I started focusing on my weight.  During that time as a Vegan I lost a bit of weight [nice] - bought some new clothes [very nice] BUT also became focused on losing weight and started calling foods either "good" or "bad". [This food is from nature it's good - this food has preservatives in it - it's bad]  
• I stopped being perfectly happy with the body I had and started focusing on what I thought was wrong - well "hello" eating disorder from my past...haven't seen you in several years.  
• I could tell my days revolved around eating just the right "good" thing - I stopped being happy.
• It has taken me many turns around the sun to be happy with the body God gave me - I refuse for my own mental/physical health to start calling food "good" or "bad" or start focusing on my weight again.

I am not sure what to do about the guilt I feel about the animals.  But I am talking to God about this whole thing because I really don't know what else to do.  I think I will keep the blog - I have renamed it to "Just Living This Life" 

Peace.

~K