Just Making Rules Up - Don't Make God Mad

Christianity is tricky for a "rule follower"

I am a rule follower .... I am not sure if I have always been a rule follower or if I am just a product of a system called the US Navy and Bootcamp.

Bootcamp is an indoctrination into a system designed to have you follow the rules automatically without thinking ..... that taught muscle reflex saves lives --- your's and your buddy's.  Repetition leads to automatic muscle reflex .....that allows your muscles to remember your training when in a firefight, when the ship is taking on water, when your too scared to think. Not that our military services are full of robots .... there's a time for thinking and a time to do what your told.

Spend any time with me at all ..... you will notice I almost never carry anything in my right hand if I can help it ...frees the right hand up for a salute I am no longer required to give.  You will also notice that I never say "no" to my boss when he asks me to do something...."no" is just not hardwired anymore.  I make an awesome employee.

Back to the rule follower point I am trying to make.

As a rule follower I have a desperate need to "do Christianity right"

My brain is always searching for the rules ... and sometimes I wonder if I am making some of them up to do "it" right and not piss God off.  But God's about grace and His forgiveness goes to depths that I do not deserve for sure.

Current "rules" I am dealing with and may have made up:

1.  Church Online.  Fellowship Church has a live feed of it's Sunday morning service ... it even includes a chat feature to give it a community feel and an online pastor for any questions, technical glitches, etc.  My rule following brain is currently worried that this online version of church does not count as "going to church".  Oh it counts as "going to church" for those not in town, or too sick to come in person but my brain does not feel it counts for me because I could easily get in my car and drive to the actual building. Why do I like the online live feed?  Because I can take great notes of the sermon. I can leave my apartment right after to go have coffee or a movie with my Husband.  Is the enemy the reason for my guilt?  Part of me is worried what others will think...  I even feel the need right now to tell you that I do go to Wednesday night bible study .... I feel the need to justify my actions to my fellow Christians.

2. Drinking Beer.  The Bible says don't get drunk.  I'm cool with that because I hate that feeling of being drunk and the after affects. But I think I am making up rules for myself by not drinking at all.  I like beer. I am happy with 1 beer a day or even once a week.  Last week, out to an early dinner, my Husband ordered a beer and I ordered a soda.....I really wanted a beer and changed my mind when he gave me the "eye".  Not that he insists I must drink with him but that I had mentioned it before we went out that a beer would taste good with that burger.  I told him a few minutes later at the table that I felt "weird" wearing my church t-shirt with a beer in my hand. I mean what if someone from church saw me with my t-shirt and a beer!  What does God think about a beer with dinner?

God has spoke to me on the subject of worrying about what other Christians think and on trying to emulate other Christians.  No, I didn't get a burning bush - that was a one-off for God.  Just a feeling and words in my head:

Stop comparing yourself to other Christians. You follow Me not them.  ~ Love God

What's Been Happening and What I Have Been Thinking About

What's Been Happening:

• I joined a church.  For the first time in my life.  

Fellowship Church ... my church .... my home away from home ..... that place where I am starting to recognize people and they know my name.

It's an awesome Church and about as far from traditional as you can get and I love that you can be yourself there.  

What I Have Been Thinking About:

• How to slow down this Holiday season and allow it to unfold without rushing about like a crazy person
• Why I feel the desperate need to be going 1000 miles an hour at work .... and somehow if I am not I haven't done a good enough job
• How I wish I had started saving for Christmas last Dec 26th
• How God is so awesome and His grace is enough for today
• How I don't always have to have everything my way
• How do I balance my empathy for others and still have fun in my life when their are starving children out there

Have a great Saturday!!

K