Why? After all I have read about the health benefits! After all I have read about what is in our food! After all I have read about the treatment of animals and the treatment of workers in the slaughterhouses!
I know! [insert forehead slap here]
There are two reasons why I have gone back the basic American diet:
- Husband and I have very few hobbies that we enjoy together. I love Star Wars - he doesn't understand why "vehicles fly in space and guys swirl around laser swords".
- One thing we have always enjoyed together is food, eating out, cooking a great meal at home - part of our relationship - a very strong part of our bond revolves around food - the breaking of bread at our table. By being a Vegan - I took myself out of that part of our life we enjoy.
- He was very supportive of my choices and in no way influenced my current decision. Basically, I missed that part of us. Our restaurant choices were limited ... I got tired of ending up at a salad joint and felt guilty for "making him eat rabbit food once again". He does enjoy veggies but not as his only food.
- I wanted our food life to be simple and to be a couple making those food decisions.
- I started focusing on my weight. During that time as a Vegan I lost a bit of weight [nice] - bought some new clothes [very nice] BUT also became focused on losing weight and started calling foods either "good" or "bad". [This food is from nature it's good - this food has preservatives in it - it's bad]
- I stopped being perfectly happy with the body I had and started focusing on what I thought was wrong - well "hello" eating disorder from my past...haven't seen you in several years.
- I could tell my days revolved around eating just the right "good" thing - I stopped being happy.
- It has taken me many turns around the sun to be happy with the body God gave me - I refuse for my own mental/physical health to start calling food "good" or "bad" or start focusing on my weight again.
I am not sure what to do about the guilt I feel about the animals. But I am talking to God about this whole thing because I really don't know what else to do. I think I will keep the blog - I have renamed it to "Just Living This Life"
Peace.
~K
